Coping With The News

At the time that you formalized your relationship, I am sure you had a fantasy of growing old together seeing your grandchildren born.

When you bought things I am sure you felt that you were contributing to the family building our future. Perhaps you suffered or sacrificed for it.

Divorcing means losing this dream, for many it also strips them of their role as parent. It is a loss, like a death- you lose your spouse, the family, maybe the kids. You lose the home, the financial future.

Many people think that they are happily married and then discover that their spouse wants a divorce or is being unfaithful. Some don’t agree that the marriage is ‘irretrievably broken down’.

The correct response to a divorce is the same as a response to a death:

Numbness shock and horror

Denial and disbelief

Anger and aggression

Bargaining begging and pleading

Depression

And perhaps finally acceptance.

If somebody close dies everybody understands: - you will get compassionate leave and your emotions will be tolerated.

If your family dies ,you lose your spouse, your home, and maybe kids. People may not be so sympathetic.

It is a time when support is needed.
It is a time when you need to take extra special care of yourself.
It is a time where you can quite easily get overwhelmed.
It is a risky dangerous time.